if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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