If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
