Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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