I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
