Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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