um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
