Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
