Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
