youre lurking in front of me
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
