I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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