My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
