High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
