So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
