When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
