Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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