Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
