Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
