I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
