I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
two words...techno handjob
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
