i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
