I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Sacagawea was the original milf.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
