are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
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