We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
