I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
