she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
