My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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