Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
