Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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