i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize