Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
