Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
