Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
