I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Someone signed my nipple.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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