Got a toothbrush?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
