You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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