i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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