girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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