That's intense
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
