im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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