Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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