Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
