You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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