When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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