I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
