I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
