I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Randomize
