I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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