At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
