Where did you get a picture of my penis
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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