If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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