You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Randomize
