I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
This house was built for laser tag.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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