she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
