She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
