They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
