she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
