i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
