It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
