Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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