Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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