He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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