She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
