I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
is wine microwaveable?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
