oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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