so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
