I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize