so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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