if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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