Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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