We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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