my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My vagina just recognized that song.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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