I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
