thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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