Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize