I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize