I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
3pm strippers are depressing
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
