Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
