Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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