Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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