Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
